Category: Overcome Shyness

You hear it all the time: “success is a state of mind.”  There are people who would argue that success is a natural result of proper planning, preparation and focused action, and that viewpoint certainly holds a grain of truth – but there are also many exceptions to disprove that “rule.”  Have you ever wondered how two people can attempt the same objective in the same way and only one of them succeed?  Is it sheer luck?  Timing?  Tenacity?  More often than not, it’s a person’s mind-set that determines whether they fail or succeed.

Author: Mark Tyrrell

Copyright 2005 Uncommon Knowledge Ltd

Shy people instinctively know that they are missing out. Shyness equals lost opportunities, less pleasure and fewer social connections. Shyness can be crippling but there are tried and tested ways to make it a thing of the past.

Everyone has an image to take care of. Whether you like it or not, people will often scrutinize your looks. If you want to create your image, decide now! You can stand by and improve your own image or be a shadow of someone else. Many people shy away because they are so conscious of their appearance. Here are just five simple steps on how to enhance your image and to build the must have self confidence.

When my business fell to pieces a couple of years back, I realized that I was fast approaching bankruptcy, and I blame it all on my lack of confidence. Yes, the whole concept of confidence can be very delicate and unstable – one day you are absolutely brimming over with it, the next day you are a nervous wreck. As an entrepreneur, you know you have to be confident and outgoing in order to survive in the business world. Apparently, I had none of these so-called entrepreneurial traits within me. I was a shy and reserved personality with a vivid imagination and the much-needed creativity that all of us entrepreneurs so require. However, the shyness and lack of confidence got the best of my business and me. I was afraid to go to parties and socialize, as a result of which I missed the opportunity of making many contacts. I was not aggressive enough or even convincing enough, as most of my clients misconstrued my shyness to be a sign of unreliability.
Therefore, in this manner, I wrecked my business, and I have only myself to blame. So, I set out to make amends and improve on those aspects of myself that had ruined me. I went for counseling sessions, workshops – the works! But, nothing really made much of a difference to my shyness. But one day when browsing through the Internet, I stumbled over the website Easycalm and here was the key to my success! This website has taught me many strategies and techniques to overcome my social disorder and I can say today that I am a confident, outspoken and successful entrepreneur.

This blog is entirely based on my previous experiences and the opinions that I have learnt from them, and is not meant to be one of those groundbreaking, encyclopedic entries that you so often come across on the topic of shyness and social phobias. Confidence is an indefinite, tricky and vague concept that changes from day to day. A couple of year’s back I was a young, reserved, shy, self-conscious rookie and I had every kind of social phobia imaginable, which is so unlike the person who I’ve evolved into today (not that I’m one of those slick, smooth talkers who can con you into doing anything). But today, shyness and the fear of interacting with new people and being in a crowd are all issues of the past – all thanks to the Internet!

By Jon Mercer, MA

A question that comes up pretty often is, “How do I know if I have social anxiety or if I’m just a shy person?” The fact is, even though there are clear differences between the two, it is often difficult for someone to tell when they are trying to “evaluate” their own situation.
In fact, shyness can appear very similar (or even identical) to social anxiety on the outside, but on the inside, a very different process is taking place.
Social anxiety produces a feeling of being “attacked.” Everyone with SA will recognize the feeling I’m talking about-it’s not just the feeling of being uncomfortable around people; it makes you feel that you must immediately defend yourself in some way, often by getting out of the situation ASAP!
Shyness, on the other hand, doesn’t produce the same “fight or flight” feelings around people. I once heard it described this way: “Shyness can make you feel uneasy around people, but it usually doesn’t physically hurt you-social anxiety can actually be painful to endure!”
The irony is, even though shyness and social anxiety are quite different, they are both based on habits we fall into, and they can both be eliminated by beginning to change these habits.
It strikes some people as odd when I tell them that they are shy or they have social phobia because they have “fallen into” habits that cause them to feel that way. But it’s absolutely true. The habits that produce these feelings (and other anxiety and panic attack feelings) are all based on where and how you focus your attention. That’s right: what you give your attention to will determine whether you suffer with the problems or not.
The worst of these habits is focusing inward. Just like everything else in our lives, focusing inward excessively is a learned and self-perpetuating habit; the more you focus inward, the more it becomes your habitual way of responding to life and the stronger the habit gets.
Of course, the problem with kicking an old habit is it tends to be difficult (the ex-smokers among us can certainly vouch for that). That’s why programs like the EasyCalm Coaching Series and the Social Strategies don’t actually ask you to “drop” any of the habits you currently have. Instead, they ask you to start a few new habits that will “block” the old ones.
The key is to add new habits, not to try to eliminate the ones you have. EasyCalm and Social Strategies are two methods that are both based on this method of eliminating anxiety-but the fact is, everyone who successfully overcomes anxiety problems (and even shyness) uses this method-even if they are not aware of it.

Shyness can be a crippling condition. It’s so extreme for some people that they avoid social situations altogether. Shy children tend to grow into shy adults. The vast majority of us need to have contact with other humans, either socially or in a work context. Overcoming shyness is difficult but not impossible.